Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration.
Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is not always easy.
And as today’s divorce statistics sadly demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
And as we contemplate on fighting for an Awesome marriage, this will also be helpful for those of you who aren’t married – yet. We will discuss what God expects in a marriage relationship. And instruct you before you think about marriage, know what God wants you to do in a marriage. Keeping these things in mind will help prepare you to be the best spouse possible, and you may want to pay attention.!
And for those of you who have already gone through the pain of a divorce, then my plea is that you would pray for the marriages represented here today, that they might not know the pain you’ve had to deal with, and my prayer for you is that you will find healing and your important role and place in this family of God, as you continue your journey with the Lord.
From Genesis 2:24 we will learn that marriage is designed by God to operate According to three Fundamental Priorities.
there are basically three stages in marriage. Stage #1 is the Ideal. That’s when everyone is excited, when love is grand, and “our marriage is going to be different!” But then along comes stage #2. The Ideal becomes an Ordeal. This is when we realize that our Prince Charming has warts, and that our Sleeping Beauty is not nearly so lovely once she wakes up. Then, far too often, along comes stage #3. And that’s when either one of the spouses begins wishing for a New Deal. – Have you noticed that trend in our culture?
Now I know there are many problems in marriage– but As a church family we ought to return to God’s original blueprint to find how marriage ought to be, from the perspective of the Father who thought it up.
Marriage, God’s Idea
The Dictionary used to define marriage this way:
1. The state of being married: “relation between husband and wife.”
But now it defines Marriage this way: A marriage is the relationship between two people who are married. Notice, sadly, it no longer speaks of a husband and wife.
Of all the definitions I’ve heard of marriage, I enjoyed my cousin Dilhani quoting from Sydney Smith, an English Clergyman who lived in the 19th century. “Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.” (Take the new shears with a flower to service, and demonstrate).
Max Lucado wrote “God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organization developed it. Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God.” And indeed, the concept of marriage is the very first human institution and While change in circumstances here below is certain, the marriage that thrives in uncertain times has a man and wife who set their spiritual hearts, on the unchanging truths found in God’s Word, so let’s put away our pre conceived notions, culture, life experience and look at the owners manual this morning.
PRAYER. May we be shining light in a world fast darkening on the truth of marriage.
Genesis 2:18-24
Today, from Genesis 2, I want us to focus on one simple verse– verse 24. Genesis 2:24– “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife and the two will become one flesh.”
This verse is spoken by the Holy Spirit of God here in Genesis, it is repeated by our Lord Jesus in Matthew 19 and St. Paul underscored it in Ephesians 5: I want to suggest that this verse is the foundational verse for marriage. In fact, from this verse we will learn that marriage is designed by God to operate According to three Fundamental Priorities. A glamourous wedding does not guarantee a great marriage, but a commitment to the principles in this one verse is a sure thing……… Now today’s outline may not be new for our contemplation, but it is time to start the application.
I. Leave:
If your marriage is going to be what it ought to be– THERE HAS TO BE A LEAVING! “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother.”
Man shall leave father and mother
The term leave is just as it sounds. This requires the full participation of especially the man. It’s an act of the will to readjust previous family relationships. It’s not an abandonment of the former family unit but the formation of a new independent family unit.
Previously, relationship with the parents was primary now relationship with the spouse becomes primary. This is essential for an awesome marriage. How many times have in-laws become the catalyst for disunity in marriage? The man is to take the initiative to establish a new family unit with his wife.
Now, that is not a reference to abandon or forsake your parents– even though that is exactly what the original Hebrew suggests. We know from other Scriptures that we must always honor them. they are forever your mom and dad. But, What this means is that we need to sever the emotional umbilical cord. Whether it’s an emotional dependency or even a financial dependency, a physical dependency– you are to “leave” them.
Mom and dad, realize that your child was given to you– but only for a time for a very limited period of training. Listen, by the time your child is 12 years old, 2/3 of your time with him is gone! And by the time your child is making decisions about who she will date and with whom she will mate, your job is, for all practical purposes, essentially complete. If you have done your job right, you’ve been preparing your child for mate selection from infancy. – If you’ve waited until she was 16, it may be getting late.
And when your child comes to you and says, “Mom, Dad– this is the person that God wants me to marry….,” when that decision has been made, when your counsel has been given and the wedding march begins to play– that’s when you are to give your child back to the safe-keeping of God. And that’s when you LET GO!
Because GOD GAVE AWAY THE FIRST BRIDE
Marriage is God’s doing because he personally took the dignity of being the first Father to give away the bride. Genesis 2:22, “And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.” He didn’t hide her and make Adam seek. He made her; then he brought her. And now, though she was His by virtue of creation, He gave her to the man in this absolutely new kind of relationship called marriage, unlike every other relationship in the world.
So, The principle of this leaving is this…. NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON EARTH, IS TO TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MATE. And when it does, you are in clear violation of the first fundamental priority of marriage. That leads us to the second principle…..
II. Cleave: If your marriage is going to be what it ought to be– there also has to be a cleaving!
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and… “he shall cleave unto his wife.” . The word “cleave” means “to cling or glue to something. To keep close to something and remain bonded to it.”
A leaving of the old must be followed by a cleaving to the new.
The Greek term translated cleave means strongly connected. The Hebrew term used in Genesis carries an idea of actively clinging, holding onto as something valuable, to be emotionally connected.
And that’s the point. God, at the very inception of marriage, said: THIS THING IS FOR LIFE! The marital bond is a permanent, lasting, never-to-be-severed bond!
When you stood before the Lord, whether it was in a beautiful house of worship and said, “I take you to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part,” you were making a covenant with the future. A vow to your God! A vow of permanence.
Malachi 2:13-16 says, “Remember the wife of your youth. Keep your marriage covenant. Cleave to that union.”
III. Weave: Finally, if your marriage is going to be what it ought to be, There has to be a Weaving! “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife…. and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Note that it says, “they become one flesh. In other words, they weave themselves into each other’s life. And that’s a process– not an instantaneous event. “One flesh” doesn’t happen because the preacher says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife”; it doesn’t happen when you sign the legal documents; it doesn’t happen because you have a dream come true honey moon time somewhere…. It is a life long process!
And it is built on the two previous principles. LEAVE and CLEAVE.
God’s plan for marriage is that two become one. And this is much more than just sharing the same residence, the same food, and the same bed. It is two people giving themselves to one another until their lives are woven together into one.
This phrase may refer to the sexual relationship of marriage but I think it goes beyond just the physical and also includes spiritual, mental and emotional aspects.
Husband, wife, let me ask you. Are you developing true companionship in your marriage? Is your marriage more than a joint bank account and the children and their needs? God wants much more than that for you. He designed marriage for companionship!
Let me remind you of the elements necessary for weaving two lives together…..
A Vow: And only when you make a covenant vow to cleave unto your wife will you be willing to so blend your heart with hers that you become, in every sense of the word a TEAM!
Living together prior to marriage vow, is not the will of God and allows for zero security.
Forgiveness: You will be hurt, disappointed, and offended by your mate, And the only way you can recover is to commit now to granting forgiveness. There are 12 words that will keep any marriage together: “I was wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you.” And those words must echo and re-echo often in marriage.
Avoid Criticism: Listen, your spouse is your teammate, easy on the criticism.
Prayer: your marriage better be a matter of prayer with and for one another.
Ministry Task: Have a ministry where you are serving together.
Fun: Do things that are fun. Laugh together. Enjoy life.
A guy named Dangerfield said, “We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations– we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.” And That’s not weaving! That’s not building a team. Are you on you way to oneness? Let’s close with two powerful suggestions……
1. You must accept the fact that your marriage will never be perfect. The only marriage with ideal circumstances was that of Adam and Eve and even they blew it.
Even the best of marriages know times of breakdown, doubt, disillusionment, anger, distress and conflict. But that reality doesn’t mean that the union cannot work.
some times people have said, “we’ve got problems!” And they act shocked about it. Its at that time that we all need to be mindful, After all, I am an imperfect person, And you married an imperfect person, ok? And is it sensible to expect no problems? But the key question is not whose right and whose wrong, but What are you going to do about the problem? Are you going to Focus on your assets or liabilities? In the crisis, Will you fix your attention on the problems or on the potential?
2. You must realize that success in marriage is not so much as finding the right mate, as it is in being the right mate.
The truth is, even if you did marry the wrong person, you can treat her like the right person and make that union work!
CONCLUSION: We have pulled out the instructions and looked at them today. God’s instruction sheet for making marriage work reads like this: Step One – The husband and wife are to LEAVE their parents and form a new relationship that will take first priority. Step Two – The husband and wife are to CLEAVE and form a permanent relationship by glueing them together in marriage. Step Three – the Husband and Wife are to WEAVE their lives together as they give themselves to each other in developing oneness. May God help us to follow His instructions for marriage.
An updated translation of Genesis 2:24– “For this reason a man will LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE to his wife, and they will WEAVE their lives into one flesh!”
…….
Though Today we face a very deliberate attack on the institution of marriage, we must contend for an awesome marriage
• The traditional idea that marriage is a lifelong commitment has been undermined by the divorce revolution. Today, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.
• The traditional idea that marriage is the only appropriate context for sexual relations has been undermined by the sexual revolution. Premarital sex, cohabitation, promiscuity, and infidelity all stretch traditional boundaries to the breaking point.
• Now, the most basic definition of marriage itself–as the union of one man and one woman–is being challenged by homosexuals who demand the right for same-sex couples to “marry.”
So it’s it is important to ask ourselves, what can we as the church do to protect marriage from being deconstructed, redefined, or simply rendered irrelevant
III. HOW CAN WE PROTECT MARRIAGE?
Here are some steps that you can personally observe to protect Marriage:
• WORK ON THE QUALITY OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE. Take time to be alone together and enjoy one another. Talk to your spouse openly and lovingly about any problems in your marriage. Don’t be embarrassed to Seek counseling if you are having serious difficulties.
• TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO HONOR MARRIAGE. Teach them to abstain from sexual relations before marriage. Be a good model for them of the proper relationship between man and woman, husband and wife, and mother and father.
Fifty years of the sexual revolution has led to an explosion of pornography, promiscuity, cohabitation, and divorce and all have weakened marriage. Yet now, nation after nation, government after government and other powerful forces in our society have changed the very definition of marriage itself–in effect, defining marriage out of existence.
Unless we as Christians, speak up, we could lose marriage within the next generation. The time to speak in defense of marriage is now.
Speak now–or forever hold your peace.
No DIVORCE IN THIS HOUSE.
You: Take one of these three things: leaving, cleaving, and weaving, and intentionally pray and think through how strong or weak you are in each of them.