Approval—Will you please like me—accept me—affirm me? Receiving Commendation from one another


Joh 5:41  I do not receive glory from peopleJoh 5:44  How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?

 

3AAA Fitch Rating

  • I have the hole inside of my heart and I’m desperate for anybody to say that I’m enough. And it’ll never satisfy.
  • Appreciation, Affirmation & Approval are the 3A Fitch rating human heart seeks.
  • They rest on…
  • My belonging & identity,
  • My worth & value – how useful I am,
  • My significance – how others see me. My contribution

 

PROBLEMS PEOPLE PLEASERS BATTLE

  • You obsess about what others think.
  • ! New outfit—Music—Car—House—Hair
  • You are often overly sensitive to criticism.
  • Supervisor makes a suggestion—One negative comment—Difficult feedback.
  • You have a hard time saying “no.”
  • False appreciation – expecting a return

 

Approval Needed

  • Approval about doing
  • Work place – from seior to junior
  • At school – teacher to student
  • Affirm in relating
  • Approval affirmation – easy in family, friend, church
  • Approval will be toxic if coupled with fear of rejection
  • Approval – acceptance or rejection

 

Approval & affirmation – being & doing

  • Approval is based on what we do. Affirmation is based on who we are. Approval is a good thing when given and received for the right reasons, but when substituted for love, it can become another addiction to avoid facing the pain of not feeling loved. Approval – earning love

Love & Power – I am Loved – I am Able

  • Gen 3:10 He said, I heard the sound of You [walking] in the garden, & I was afraid because I was naked; & I hid myself.
  • Seeking approval from man & making my own effort, will be healed when I know who I am in Him.
  • Adam lost his belonging & he said – I am afraid
  • Adam lost his worth & he said – I am naked
  • Adam lost his significance – I am hiding (I am of no use) – Fear Overcome
  • God has not given to us a spirit of fear but of love, of power & a steadfast mind. 2 Tim 1:7

 

God Approval

139: 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,  I know that full well.

Sometimes for us to get rid of seeking approval from others,

we need to bring our disapprovals to God.

 

Approval of God Adoption

  • Matt 3:15 This is My Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased
  • Because I’m His—won’t obsess with what people think!
  • Because I’m crucified with Christ—not going to hurt my feelings!
  • Because I belong to Christ—Will address problems—never fear conflict.
  • Because I’m accepted—Say yes to what God wants me to do, know the rest
  • Candidates & Examiners of Approval
  • We have a tick off list of Approval & we assess others. Conversely we play up to & apply as candidate for approval – to those whom we admire. Alternately, we sit on the board as examiner or before the board as candidate for approval. This is obvious with projects but subtle with relationships & pecking order. We approve those who appreciate us. We censure others who are dismissive of us.
  • We are at rest & safe within –
    because we have found God’s approval.
  • Christlikeness is to grow beyond. Growing in Christ nature becomes common ground for appreciation respect authority. We are at rest & safe within – because we have found God’s approval. That’s our internal ecology. No storm of human disapproval can topple our inward stature

 

Pleaser’s Snare

  • !Pro 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Prov 29:25
  • mowqesh (mo-kashe’); a noose (for catching animals), a hook (for the nose).
  • Phil 4:13
  • Phil 4:19
  • 2 Chron 16:9

 

Acceptable to God and approved by men.

  • Rom 14:17-18 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  (18)  Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.

 

Pleasing the Weak

  • Rom 15:1-3 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.  (2)  Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.  (3)  For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”
  • This the topsy turvy Christ standard – in the world juniors & the weak have to please the highly placed
  • But in Christ, the strong bear the errors of the weak & don’t please ourselves by dominant behavior.
  • But please our weak brethren by service & sacrifice

 

Don’t Forget What God Thinks of You

  • Becoming obsessed with what people think about you is the fastest way to forget about what God thinks about you.
  • That’s why we want to have a different goal!
  • Instead of living for the approval of people
  • Something impossible to obtain.
  • !We want to live for God and God alone!
  • For his will—For his glory—For his purposes

 

Paul – Whose Servant Am I

  • Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.** If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. * Gal 1:10
  • Then he says something incredibly powerful and convicting!**
  • *If pleasing people were my goal—I would not be Christ’s servant!

 

FACTS ABOUT THE DISEASE TO PLEASE

  • ! 1)People pleasing is a form of idolatry.
  • !More of SPIRITUAL problem than a RELATIONAL problem
  • Idolatry! Putting people ahead of Christ.
  • ! I’m asking people to meet a need they cannot meet
  • Rom 14:17-18 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  (18)  Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.

 

For they loved human praise more than praise from God.

  • Jesus had performed many miracles! But there were still Jewish leaders who wouldn’t believe Jesus was the Son of God.
  • Jesus described their idolatry this way…

42 …But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; 43 for they loved human praise more than praise from God. John 12:42-43

  • 2)The approval of God sets us free
    from the disease to please
  • Paul said it in 1 Thes 2:4 On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts…
  • 6 We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else… 1 Thes 2:4, 6
  • God’s Approval – David & Brothers
  • God’s approval vs man’s approval
  • To Samuel, David’s brothers looked obvious next king – but God – 1Sa 16:7 NHEB But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For humans do not see as God sees, for humans look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.”
  • God Approval – Smyrna & Laodicea
  • Smyrna looked poor – but God – Rev 2:9 NHEB “I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich),
  • Laodicea – rich in their own eyes – but God -:Rev 3:17 NHEB Because you say, ‘I am rich, and have gotten riches, and have need of nothing;’ and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked; Joh 12:43 NHEB for they loved praise from people more than praise from God.
  • WHO DOES GOD SAY YOU ARE?
  • You are a new creation in Christ. 2 Cor. 5:17
  • You are forgiven and your sins are washed away. Eph 1:7
  • You are more than a conqueror through Christ. Rom 8:37
  • You are God’s masterpiece. Eph 2:10
  • You are the light of this world. Matt. 5:14

 

  • WHO DOES GOD SAY YOU ARE?
  • You are filled with the same spirit that raised Christ. Rom 8:11
  • You are a joint heir with Christ. Romans 8:17
  • You are Christ’s ambassador. 2 Cor. 5:20
  • You are the righteousness of God in Christ. 2 Cor. 5:21
  • You are greatly loved by God. Romans 1:7